Or – a guy wrote, directed, and starred in a movie, and then named it after his character. Totally a good sign, folks.
The Happy Poet was so bad I couldn’t finish it. This is remarkable for me, as I generally make it a point to watch movies until the end. If they’re bad I finish them so I can complain about and make fun of them. If they’re abominable I finish them so I can say that I did and then use the experience as a twisted sort of street cred. Generally, I only don’t finish movies that are triggering or traumatic for me, because nightmares aren’t fun and yes I am one of those people.
So, I couldn’t finish The Happy Poet. I also couldn’t re-watch the scene where I finally gave up on it – far, far too late- so that I could write about it with the exacting, cringe inducing accuracy I would prefer. Even if I could make myself re-watch that scene, I wouldn’t. I don’t think it would be healthy. I can’t remember much about it at this point. I suspect this is a coping skill in action.
However, I’m fairly certain that it included the word “fetid” in a poem that was supposed to be romantic – or that at least we were supposed to believe the character thought was romantic – and was presumably about the lady parts of the character’s unlikely love interest. This is the character who is played by the guy who is also the writer/director. I say unlikely because this was one of those movies where we are supposed to believe that a grown up woman with a real job, decent place to live, and nice clothes, and who can totally bathe and groom herself, is really interested in this creepy guy who runs a not-vegetarian food cart and who is lacking in words, affect, and personality. He is also deficient in friends who are less creepy and/or more socially functioning than he is.
But! This is not the most important thing. This is the most important, most hilariously obvious thing: it’s Getting The Ladies 101 to not use the word “fetid” about the Ladies you are trying to Get. Ever. As it turns out, I’m not one of those people who thinks there’s artistic or other value in watching a Cis Straight White Dude With More Money Than Sense think that using fetid in that way will totally work. There is more than enough Cis Straight White Dude With More Money Than Sense foolishness in my life already.
If you want to watch this movie, which I do not recommend, I do not know where you can get it, unless you live in Boston, in which case you can get it at the library.